Hmmm, your suggested approach to "stealth loaded questions" appears to be simply to suck it up and give your inquisitor the answer she wants. So it's just an issue of correctly spotting the SLQ and then surrendering to superior firepower.
Which I agree is the only approach that I have found that avoids the otherwise inevitable unpleasantness of copping of a load of flak. But is there an approach by which you can skirt the loaded question, without merely capitulating, and still come out smelling of roses..? Guess I'll keep searching...
the visiting expert would like to add: the art of dodging the stealth LQ's regarding 'time spent together' is also dependent on ACTUALLY CALLING HER when you say you will.
a fine point, but apparently often missed by the thicker of the species.
good lord, that is one of the most amusing things i've read in AGES. brilliant. beautiful. the thing is, do we really want to give the boys that much ammunition? isn't it just much more fun to watch them squirm?
There are, I think, two forms of loaded question: those intended to make the asker feel better, and those intended to make the askee feel worse. As for the first of these, a diplomatic mind will generate an appropriately fawning but not cloying response. As for the latter, the only good response is a running start. The race may not always be to the swift, but the laggards will undoubtedly get their asses kicked.
loaded questions are just a few of the many traps that can be set for us. When in a relationship, whether new or old, we must navigate this obstable course of booby traps and landmines to successfully sustain. The more we get to know each other, the easier the traps are to spot, but they're always there.
It's not a bad thing. It's just a fact of life. Keep a notepad, write them down. they'll come up again, and if you didn't have the right response the first time, good luck to you.
Hmmm, your suggested approach to "stealth loaded questions" appears to be simply to suck it up and give your inquisitor the answer she wants. So it's just an issue of correctly spotting the SLQ and then surrendering to superior firepower.
Which I agree is the only approach that I have found that avoids the otherwise inevitable unpleasantness of copping of a load of flak. But is there an approach by which you can skirt the loaded question, without merely capitulating, and still come out smelling of roses..? Guess I'll keep searching...
In an alternative universe somewhere, Fauxmarkia is rejoicing.
Bet Fauxmarkia has great legs...
Why can't you read me at work? I don't have naked chicks there anymore. Just chicks with guns.
the visiting expert would like to add: the art of dodging the stealth LQ's regarding 'time spent together' is also dependent on ACTUALLY CALLING HER when you say you will.
a fine point, but apparently often missed by the thicker of the species.
good lord, that is one of the most amusing things i've read in AGES. brilliant. beautiful. the thing is, do we really want to give the boys that much ammunition? isn't it just much more fun to watch them squirm?
There are, I think, two forms of loaded question: those intended to make the asker feel better, and those intended to make the askee feel worse. As for the first of these, a diplomatic mind will generate an appropriately fawning but not cloying response. As for the latter, the only good response is a running start. The race may not always be to the swift, but the laggards will undoubtedly get their asses kicked.
loaded questions are just a few of the many traps that can be set for us. When in a relationship, whether new or old, we must navigate this obstable course of booby traps and landmines to successfully sustain. The more we get to know each other, the easier the traps are to spot, but they're always there.
It's not a bad thing. It's just a fact of life. Keep a notepad, write them down. they'll come up again, and if you didn't have the right response the first time, good luck to you.
Funnily enough, krissa, the Art Of Knowing When To Call was the idea that sparked this whole thing off.... but we never wrote it.