three things

1. I'm that person on the subway who's going to make you catch cold. I am a germ factory. Coughing, sneezing, blowing my nose in a confined space! Be careful, or I will snot you!

2. Today I bought orange juice that turned out to be frozen. Now it is unfrozen, and it tastes like vagina.

3.

It's almost enough to make me want to start having safe sex.

KIDDING