you know the feeling that

you know the feeling that you're bottling something good inside that you think you'd love to share with the world, but aren't sure, or for whatever reason can't just come out and say it? like when something good happens to you, or you've had a wonderful realisation or discovery, or you find yourself in a state of sublime contentment, or you come across a pot of gold?

this is one of those times for me. but rather than keep you all in a state of ignorance, or make you guess, i'm going to be completely direct:

i think i'm falling in love ... with this city.

posted thu. 12:07 pm

i think i'll know i'm

i think i'll know i'm ready to have children when i can ride in the lift with no less than eighteen of the little devils and emerge not wanting to scream.

anyway, the real reason i'm posting is to complain. my inner nerd (wait, what am i talking about? my inner nerd is my entire being) is dissatisfied with grammatical errors on the advertisements i saw on the tube today. honestly, i find this distracting. i'm busy trying to let my consumer self be swayed by corporate advertising tactics, and all i can concentrate on is the fact that here--

Any SIM card, any provider.
(tempted to lose your current mobile?)

--the "t" that heads up the second line should be capitalised, because it begins a sentence, as is clear from the period that comes before it. (please, no jokes about my being american and, thus, staunchly "capitalist". likewise, let's ignore the fact that my blog is almost totally capital-letter-free. at least i know where they should go.)

furthermore, this very same ad continued with a mistake i see everywhere:

www.primusmobiles.com or call 0800 036 0800

not parallel! not parallel! is it so hard instead to print "go to such-and-such URL or call such-and-such number"? or simply to omit the word "call"?

sigh.

when one begins a)to notice grammatical errors in advertisements and b)to expend effort to enumerate said errors in writing and c)to decide that blog readers will actually want to read that kind of shite, i'd say it's a good sign that things are deteriorating, material-wise.

that, and the fact that my only post worth commenting on consists of one line, which is nearly all jibberish.

posted wed. 5:38 pm

the art of making new friends.

step one: meet.

step two: infiltrate the family.

step three: hope new friend doesn't mind his sister's picture being posted on the internet. prepare bribe in case he does.

posted tue. 10:53 am

lkasv jfdasj;bloggeray9sdfa kj al3

lkasv jfdasj;bloggeray9sdfa kj al3

i realise that it's probably

i realise that it's probably not interesting to read about someone else's parents, but i feel i'd be doing a disservice if i let these words fade into the oblivion of my mail server. i just received an email from mom. the subject line is, "about nothing in particular".

- - -

Hi there Kathleen!

I'm trying to write a paper on homosexuality in the church, for my class on marriage and sexuality (required for the M.Div,) when I suddenly realized that if a spaceship full of aliens landed in Spokane today, they would actually believe that lizards rule the earth and humans are an inferior species. Because as far as I can see, this is lizard weather. They're feeling good. They're moving. We're just lying around with our mouths hanging open (with popsicles hanging from our tongues). And I thought cows were lazy and inferior.

Now I better get back to my paper. I'm almost finished. That was my insight for the day. Thanks for letting me share it with you.

Love,
Mom

p.s. I love you.

posted mon. 1:56 pm

my mom is cooler than your mom.

i recently emailed my mother and referred her to a picture i took -- the same one down there, a couple posts ago.

this is an actual, unaltered paragraph excerpted from her reply.

I liked your picture of -- what is it, Big Ben? Or is that like looking at a picture of Mark Twain and thinking that it's Einstein? Anyway, it looks nice and warm over there. We're into the 100's every day, and I have discovered quite scientifically that we are the opposite of lizards. Whereas when it's very hot, the lizards get frisky, when it's hot for us humans we just get sluggish. Every little thing seems hard -- like work, to take a random example.

posted thu. 7:51 pm

since my computer isn't easily

since my computer isn't easily transportable, i've been doing most of my web-surfing on LSE network machines in the library or computer rooms when it fits into my schedule. i have a fairly consistent routine of logging in every day between 1:00 and 3:00 at the library and a nonroutine habit of popping into the computer room at my residence once every day or so, and it's allowed me to notice some of the basic character types to be found at the various computer workstations.

type one is the dedicated emailer. the DE types emails in outlook or using webmail with a great deal of intensity. no gratuitous open windows are used by the DE; single-mindedly committed to maintaining the lines of e-communication, he or she has fingers on the keys, eyes on the screen, and brow wrinkled in potent concentration.

type two is the american sports fan. the ASF is always, without fail, male. sometimes he reads yahoo sports, but the window he normally has open is espn. the ASF spends more time at a workstation than any other user, because there is JUST SO MUCH TO FIND OUT ABOUT IN AMERICAN SPORTS AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO MISS A THING WHILE HE'S OVERSEAS.

type three is the over-the-shoulder watcher. the OTSW is monstrously irritating. after logging in, the OTSW allows his or her eyes to drift over to the computer screen in front of his/her neighbour, and they stay there, presumably reading and prying, until the neighbour turns to look pointedly back in annoyance. the OTSW actually does very little on the computer; he or she usually checks email, ryanair.com and one or two other sites of miscellany. more concerned, it seems, is the OTSW with the activity of users around him/her. the OTSW is very dense in the cranial area, and even after repeated pointed looks fails to realize his/her rudeness.

type four is the hard worker. you can't really say anything negative about HWs because, well, they work so damn hard and you must admire them, plugging away at any time of day with piles of printed material in their laps, books and notepads on the desk surface, and spreadsheets or powerpoint presentations gleaming from the monitor. you almost feel sorry for HWs, but they seem to thrive in their particular mode of operation, so you let 'em enjoy it. besides, maybe there is a finite amount of work in the world so that the more they do, the less there is for you?

type five is me. i'm like the food pyramid of computer users: a bit of everything.

posted thu. 2:36 pm

and they say it's grey

and they say it's grey in london.

posted thu. 1:59 pm

kate points out the obvious, #48930.

something is wrong when nigeria sends peacekeeping troops to quell violence in liberia.

nigeria.

posted thu. 1:48 pm

'must-haves' for picking a fight with kate

1. have a reason. if i have to argue with you, i should deserve it. if i disparaged your kin, slept with your best friend, or kicked your dog, bring it on. tell me off. teach me a lesson. but if your contention is that i was "snobbish" and/or "different" to you in the days that followed a few hours' company, then perhaps an angry confrontation in the street is a bit premature.
2. have evidence. when i ask what 'different' means, shrugging is not a particularly enlightening response. nor does it help to repeat your statement that we had one pleasant afternoon together after which i was different. yes, thank you, i heard you the first time. what i did not hear was any sort of definition for 'different' or justification for your shaky claim.
3. have a point. news flash: when i say, "i'm really sorry; i had no intention of behaving differently or snobbishly toward you and i apologise for giving that impression," and you say, "that's not what i want," i must say i'm left at a loss for discerning your purpose in starting the argument. furthermore, the sentence "i just wanted to tell you" actually tells me very little apart from the fact that you clearly think you not only have all the answers but also have the duty to impart them to others. why thank you.
4. have some decency. you've got nerve, my good man, to pull the "you're only 21" card. if you think age is so unsurprisingly deterministic, how is it that i slipped through your immaturity detector before? it's terribly convenient for you to blame your dissatisfaction with me on an elemental quality the implications and meanings of which can be twisted and yanked to justify a whole range of possibilities for my behavior. it's less convenient, i daresay, for you to recognise that there was a disparity between your expectations of me and the extent to which i fulfilled them. if i haven't lived up to your hopes, maybe your hopes were inflated. and especially after you made such a show during our last meeting of passing judgment -- good judgment -- judgment that included, notably, the words "mature for your age" -- you're in no position to blame on my paucity of years your unrealised designs for our relationship.
5. have respect. even sarcasm fails me here. how dare you condescend to me. your complacent shrugging, your rolling eyes, your self-satisfied assertion that the way i've acted is "not how to treat a person" -- it's flamingly hypocritical. how dare you accuse me of denial. my claims to confusion rest legitimately on an understanding of our relationship that is somewhere between nonexistent and wrong. how dare you put blame on me for my naïveté, for hoping you had no agenda. you make my innocence out to be a conniving scheme aimed at your frustration. you validate my worries that you had an ulterior motive and then punish me for not playing along. how dare you assume that i owed you anything.
6. have some class. stopping me in the middle of a busy sidewalk in central london? please. give me some warning next time; i'll put on a gown and stilettos and we'll fight in style. the heel would fit perfectly into your face.

posted wed. 11:06 am

"smell this! grease paint! show

"smell this! grease paint! show business!"

- judy garland as jane falbury in summer stock (1950)

posted tue. 2:51 pm

when you go to the

when you go to the half-price ticket booth and they offer you £26 tickets in the back of the first balcony, opt out and take your chances with the subject-to-availability student discount at the box office thirty minutes before curtain, because you just might score front row, first balcony seats at twenty quid apiece.

on a related note, i think one sure sign that you've scored good seats is being asked to leave by someone who thinks you're in his seat until you point out that he's in the wrong circle, sorry, and will have to go up another level. something about the way his smile disppears tells you you're in an enviable spot.

posted tue. 12:07 am

(counting is down but comments

(counting is down but comments are up -- with some very good musical suggestions)

this spring, i compiled a

this spring, i compiled a mix that a few weeks ago made its way into my cd case and thus into my backpack, onto an airplane, over an ocean and ultimately, tonight, into my player. i'd nearly forgotten how much i liked it, a perfect soundtrack for my late evening hours:

1. tori amos - i don't like mondays
2. aimee mann - save me
3. angie stone - i wish i didn't miss you
4. wilco - california stars
5. trembling blue stars - never loved you more
6. clem snide - african friend
7. coldplay - the scientist
8. beck - already dead
9. elliott smith - miss misery
10. joni mitchell - a case of you
11. nick drake - pink moon
12. smashing pumpkins - sheila
13. radiohead - no surprises
14. rufus wainwright - in a graveyard
15. wilco - at my window sad and lonely

what music do you play in the dark?

update: in the case that one exists, my favorite line from a song can be viewed by hovering over its title.

posted sun. 11:47 pm

the programs abroad office at

the programs abroad office at my university just forwarded me an email which goes something like this:

Hello,

I am a student who plans to live in London for the next year. I have gotten a flat with two other students which is spacious, located at the heart of central London, and affordable -- about $460 a month given the current exchange rate. We are looking for someone with whom we can share the flat. Can you forward this message to other students in London?

Signed,
The Angel of Temptation

trying - to - resist - trying - so - hard - to - resist --

posted sun. 12:33 pm

news flash. blair on iraq:

news flash.

blair on iraq:
"I believe with every fiber of instinct and conviction I have that we are [right]."

bush on british citizens in guantanamo bay:
"The only thing I know for certain is that these are bad people."

i'm doing a shamefully brilliant

i'm doing a shamefully brilliant job of perpetuating the stereotype that americans don't understand irony or sarcasm. i may actually be qualified to teach a course on the subject. method one: do get pissy when told your hair makes you look like medusa.

in related news, i think i owe someone a slap.

posted fri. 2:19 pm

various and sundry.

• one of the best things about being in school is the kick-back time after an exam. ahhhh.
• postcards should be photocopied before getting sent out, so that you remember what you've written and aren't at a loss when someone says "i loved/hated/cried at/laughed at what you wrote!"
• the previous comment can be ignored in the case of greg howard, because in emailing thanks he will remind you what you've written and cause you to laugh aloud, thinking, "wow, i really am funny after all!"
• when leaving the house for an extended period of time, it's important to ensure the health of any plants habitating in your room. neglecting to provide for their care or disposal may result in a chain of events that culminates in a frantic letter from flatmates along the lines of "YOUR PLANT IS SMELLING UP THE WHOLE HOUSE, PLEASE ADVISE"
• in case there was ambiguity, the falling thing and the covent garden stairs thing were unrelated. THANK HEAVEN. falling down those stairs wouldn't have been a simple episode of embarrassment; it would have taken a month and a half. and the miserable thing about them isn't the height -- i can bound up lots of flights of stairs, no problem -- it's the unending, landing-less SPIRALITY, the fact that the end is never in sight. it's quite purgatorial.
• that i can tell by looking at my starbucks usual -- iced skinny two-pump vanilla latte -- that it's got the wrong ingredients may signal the need to curb that particular habit.
• the only thing better than being asked if your nails were professionally manicured is being asked twice if your nails were professionally manicured.
• my umbrella is too wide for easy sidewalk manoeuvring. i'm seriously considering one of those hats with a mini umbrella on top. if people are allowed to resurrect mullets then i don't see why i can't do that.
• mega-points to anyone who recognizes the line in my title bar. mega.

posted thu. 3:35 pm

i love this person. k:

i love this person.

k: i always think about buying you a postcard with just a picture of the queen
k: but i am too embarrassed to purchase it
i: haha
i: how come?
i: if they look at you funny just say "WE DON'T HAVE A QUEEN IN AMERICA"

posted wed. 10:12 pm

i spent half of yesterday's

i spent half of yesterday's very pleasant evening in hyde park with a new acquaintance. a french canadian from montreal, he practiced law for two years before working for a nonprofit organisation in africa for five -- living, variously, in rwanda, guinea, and liberia -- and finally moving to new york city to do advocacy work in their office there. (naturally, we spent the first hour getting that chronology straight.)

we had a fascinating conversation about putting down roots in unfamiliar places. i tend to talk a lot of talk about moving around, cutting ties, discovering new places and meeting new people, but my experience is child's play. here was someone walking the walk. i asked him if the processes of separation and of making new connections got more difficult with age, and we got to talking about the change by which one starts to think of social compansionship less as an absolute good in itself. the idea of having a relationship simply for the sake of a relationship becomes less appealing; what matters more is making a meaningful connection somehow, and if, in a new setting, no such bond is made, then solitude is a perfectly acceptable situation.

were we overanalysing? or worse, does the fact that we aren't so eager to find company at any cost -- or at any level of quality, let's say -- mean that we've lost something important? maybe a sense of fun? are we being narrow-minded by suggesting that there are people with whom we cannot connect? if i'm with someone, regardless of whom, is the value of my experience heightened? if i'm alone, is it diminished?

shall i shut up now?

posted wed. 4:58 pm

when i fell down yesterday

when i fell down yesterday i thought immediately of my roommate (actually, 'flatmate' is more accurate) and the fact that she finds people falling tremendously funny. so i emailed to tell her of my embarrassment. she replied, and in doing so reminded me why we are friends.

awwwww kate how sad that you fell. but it's nice that it made you think of me! i dont know what it is about people falling, but i love it.

posted wed. 2:52 pm

please consider this my very

please consider this my very sincere personal invitation to slur americans in my comment box.

i'm serious.

you can even be anonymous, if you really need to be (coward).

posted wed. 2:22 pm

right. altogether now: NEVER, EVER

right. altogether now:

NEVER, EVER TAKE THE STAIRS UP FROM THE TRAINS AT COVENT GARDEN STATION.

ever.

i'll be back when my lungs return to their normal state of health.

london bloggers, you might have told me...

posted wed. 12:18 am

trauma-rama:

nothing like falling to make you feel like a total fucking idiot.

posted tue. 4:45 pm

settling

vol. 3 of kate's holiday log, in which i may appear to be drawing thoughtful conclusions upon the natures of culture, travel and experience, but am in reality merely an american saying, "hey, look! europeans!" only in a slightly more subtle way.

i like settling into a new routine. it makes me feel as though a place is home, even though it isn't -- self-trickery is one of my very favorite pasttimes.

every morning i wake up tangled in my own hair, smelling fresh and pleasant (having showered the evening prior), and perform the usual wake-up steps of brush (teeth), brush (hair), wash (face), deodorise, primp, dress, try on four pairs of shoes, consider purse possibilities, leave, come back to change shoes, eat breakfast, and head out -- just like anyone else.

after leaving my residence i might make some stops on route to my morning destination. i buy stamps at the post office and mail letters; i withdraw money from the cash point; i order coffee -- iced, of course, we are in the midst of a veritable heat wave, after all -- and i make my way cheerfully to houghton street for class.

i like my nascent routine, and i like the accompanying realisation that things around here have become familiar. one of my favorite feelings is that of starting to feel comfortable in a totally new environment; that's why i move to places where i know no one and travel to cities where i've never been and tend (perhaps foolishly) to cut ties when i've settled into a new context. i'm not saying i'm terribly adventurous -- then i'd have to defend my choices to stay in the english-speaking world and to exclude most southern states from my imaginary travel itineraries, and i have no defence aside from my cowardly avoidance of the language barrier (yes, that goes for both cases). i am saying that i like to move around, and i love to find that movement suits me.

of course, this is not without setbacks. yesterday, for example, found me in a lift with a young english man and woman, the latter of whom observed that she'd been noticing increasing numbers of americans around campus.

"really," replied her companion, a dry statement rather than a question. from the tone i knew without having to turn round that he'd raised a single eyebrow. "americans. oh dear."

"oh dear, indeed," she agreed, and i amusedly lifted a single brow myself in their direction, having been reminded that no matter how 'settled' into a new context i fancy myself, and no matter how fond i am of self-trickery, i mustn't fool myself into thinking that i'm wholly in command of how a new context fancies me.

posted tue. 2:25 pm

polish, pt. 2

which is better, having a freshly painted set of nails, or being asked if i'd gotten them professionally manicured?

posted tue. 9:51 am

funny how a coat of

funny how a coat of red polish makes me feel like a whole new girl.

posted mon. 11:55 pm

this absogoddamnlutely fanfuckingtastic weather just

this absogoddamnlutely fanfuckingtastic weather just BEGS the swimsuit be donned and the sun soaked up.

there must be a sandy beach around here somewhere.

posted mon. 3:00 pm

damn it. i must see

damn it. i must see this movie.

posted sun. 5:34 pm

not only does my brother

not only does my brother describe his and his fiancee's kitchen as "a haberdashery" of items owned by the two of them; he's got a registry at target! man, i love him.

once their home is fully stocked with target gear, i'm totally spending all my weekends in piedmont.

posted fri. 2:23 pm

KATE'S HOLIDAY LOG: in which i may appear to be drawing thoughtful conclusions upon the natures of culture, travel and experience, but am in reality merely an american saying, "hey, look! europeans!" only in a slightly more subtle way.

vol. 2: so yeah, this is pretty cool.

here are some things i have enjoyed about my holiday so far. i'll try to keep it as brief as possible.

• one video screen per passenger
  
• pretty decent airplane food
  
• the irish lilt
  
• the greenest countryside i've ever seen
  
• the cliffs of moher
  
• our funny tour guide, and the way he managed to end every story with "and so it remains to this very day."
  
• potato cakes
  
• hostel friends -- the italians, oh the italians
  
• checking my bank balance and discovering that a paycheck had been deposited at three times the amount i'd expected -- did you hear me say something about "spending restraint"? i didn't think so
  
• molly's friend niall, and his northern/irish/welsh/spanish/american accent
  
• kidding the girl from cork about "tirty-tree and a turd"
  
• walking about dublin
  
• seeing the plough and the stars at the abbey theatre
  
• telling people i punched someone with a glass eye ("you think my knuckle looks painful? you should have seen the eye.")
  
• my room at the lse
  
• the location of my flat
  
• mark
  
• seriously, he's so cool
  
• and i can't believe he's let me take up so much of his time this week
  
• (actually, he's paying me to write up complimentary things on this website)
  
• (right. moving along, then...)
  
• the fact that i receive a fresh towel and soap daily and fresh bed linen weekly
  
• the grad student who leads my discussion section
  
• writing postcards -- really, it's super fun on this trip, for some reason, sorry i know it's dorky
  
• that every person i have met today has said, "oh my god. i am so jealous" upon learning that i'm from san diego
  
• walking everywhere
  

posted wed. 2:52 pm

i don't know if it's

i don't know if it's because karen at rise -- a uk blogger -- has noticed and linked me, or if it's because i'm in the uk. maybe, for once, i won't give myself credit for 95% of this site's traffic, and venture the suggestion that i actually have more than five readers, meaning it's karen's work after all. in any case, 1/3 of my hits are from this part of the world now, so to all of you who are new i would like to say:

hello.

thanks for visiting!

and yes, i mispronounce "leicester square" on purpose.

posted wed. 9:43 am

addendum to holiday log vol. 1:

spanish: where are you from?
me: california.
spanish: do girls in california like sex?
me: (coughing, sputtering) pardon me?
spanish: i have heard that girls in california like sex. is this true?
me: [silence.]

posted wed. 1:58 am

as i started down the

as i started down the eight staircases between my room and breakfast, i thought, quite clearly and with as much conviction that i was right as dread that i would be injured and embarrassed, "i am going to fall down the stairs." so, it's one of those kinds of days.

posted tue. 9:47 am

downside to putting fist down

downside to putting fist down for balance without checking for renegade razors:

bloody cuts on knuckle.

upside to putting fist down for balance without checking for renegade razors:

telling everyone i punched someone who had a glass eye.

posted mon. 5:55 pm

KATE'S HOLIDAY LOG: in which i may appear to be drawing thoughtful conclusions upon the natures of culture, travel and experience, but am in reality merely an american saying, "hey, look! europeans!" only in a slightly more subtle way.

vol. 1: girl talk

i don't have it as bad (good?) as some girls, being not of the fabulously gorgeous persuasion, but i know what it's like to be hit on, at least in the united states. now that i'm experiencing it in other countries, i'm trying to put together a mental index of pick-up line equivalencies across different nationalities, basing it upon how i've been approached in various places by total strangers. again, this is far from conclusive (or serious), especially since i don't think i'm really a top pick as far as girls go. anyway, here's what i have so far:

italian: "you are very, very, very, very pretty." also: "you would like to come sleep in my bed, no?"

irish: "i'll never see you again. [insert expectant, puppy-ish facial expression.]" also: "you won't like london. stay here."

american: "what's up. [upward nod; cocky grin.]"

posted mon. 1:50 pm

tour guide, old jameson distillery:

tour guide, old jameson distillery: this mill stone was actually used in the malting process when this distillery was in use. they say that touching it will bring you good luck.

niall: good, that should cancel out all my bad luck from not forwarding chain emails.

posted sun. 11:01 pm